Dammit! (or how i got into a wrestling match with God)

One day i went to bed and woke up 25! I was a little angry with God for playing me like that so i said, "God, thats not cool and You know it... Now that You've had Your laugh, how about switching me back?"
But God said, "Huh? what? No, I'm off today... really wish i could help but my hands are tied.."
"Tied? What are you talking about?! I woke up with hair on my face, my chest and covering mr. Periwinkle!! What the hell happened to me?"
"Are you on a new diet or something? Cos that Atkins thing-"
"Will You stop kidding around, Lord?I'm missing Beast Wars cos of You and You're telling me Your hands are tied?!... Hello?... Hel-"
"The number you have dialed is not available...."
DAMMIT! I was furious! Stupid MTN! How many times had i pushed God to switch to Warid but noooo.... He couldnt leave Late Chat behind! Damn you 50 shs sms's and insanely cheap calls after 11 pm and on Sundays!

So there i was, a stupid, lazy kid helplessly trapped inside the body of a 25 year old dude... The incredibly well toned body of a handsome 25 year old Adonis. Perfectly chiseled jaw, arms the size of canons, abs that made beer six packs seem inadequate and when i looked down below my waist...

Wait

Wait. Thats not quite how it happened. Sure thats how it played out in my head but the truth of the matter is, i woke up one day and REALISED i was 25. It was during a conversation with my father when he happened to mention that i was 25 and that it was time for me to start to be somebody. My father or my annoying adopted brother, Ray. I dont recall. The point is , whoever it was, was right. "We aint these little kids no more, running dangerous"-Nas

The first girl i'd ever been in love with had left. I'd given up my shitty job in a Brussels hotel and come back to a country i couldnt have fled quickly enough years earlier and my screenplay that i had believed would change how the world looks at homeless people had not even made the first round in the Nicholl Fellowship Screenplay writing competition. I was down ya'll. SOmewhere amidst all the late night movies and flactuating weight patterns, i'd lost myself. I prayed to God for help. I really did. You see sometimes, the world is just no the place you want to be but you're so lost that even your dreams are filled with gray skies and emptiness.

I prayed. And waited. A week, 2 and a half weeks, months, an entire season of LOST.

No word from up above. Just emptiness.

I felt abandoned. All the songs i listened to at the time seemed to hae the most depressing lyrics. A n old BB King song went, "No one loves me but my mother.... and she could be jivin' too..." So i turned to movies again. Just watched them day in day out. Didnt shower or sleep or go outside. Just watched movies and ate alot of home cooked food. I was 25 and headed nowhere... slowly.

Then i popped in Batman Begins. After rewatching the Prestige and Memento, it occurred to me that since those 2 are my all time favourite movies, i should give Chris Nolan's Batman Begins another try. I hadnt hated it the first time, i just didnt think it was that great. I popped it in.

And thats when God gave me an answer.

It was the scene where the very young Bruce Wayne falls into a mysterious cave and is frightened by bats (hmmm, wonder where THATS leading?) before his father carries him safely through the huge door of Wayne Manor and asks very gently, "Why do we fall son?" There it was, buried in the treasure that is Chris Nolan's Batman Begins, the key to overcoming any obstacle, any of life's stupid challenges. There it was, waiting for me in the calmly soothing voice of Thomas Wayne. "Why do we fall, Bruce?"

I woke up. I got up. I looked out my window and smiled at the blue sky, a smile only me and the Main Man understood. Mysterious ways? Bloody enigmatic! Huh... thats an "e" word isnt it? Funny thing, that.



Obligatory Post Scriptum: For those who havent watched the brilliant Batman Beigns or those who might want to refresh their memories of it in the wake of the Dark Knight, come check out mr.E's Movie Rental Experience in Ntinda behind the boda stage, opposite the market place, right before Musana Plaza.(Kisaasi Road)