Thursday, August 14, 2008

Family Time and The Bitch Customer (or who REALLY stole the mango from the mango tree)

Before i forget this, Happy (belated) Birthday to Daphine who safely made it passed the dangerous age this week, sans tattoes or nipple piercings. Good luck with Campus!!

Right... So a memeber of this congregation finally found mr.E's and was disappointed to find i didnt have exactly what she wanted... which sucked. But see, she took it like you'd expect an adult to handle it. The other day, actually its been more than a week now, i had my first bitch customer (not to imply that my first customer was a bitch... Actually, Darlyne was officially my first customer and she's been nothing but supportive of my mini-enterprise since its start... You're all kinds of awesome, D-Sugar). But no, this was my very first Bitch of a customer. Now i can take as much shit from people as the next guy but i seriously wanted to punch this woman in the face. Not cos she was wrong or anything. Truth be told, her complaint was a genuine one. She's taken a disk home only to find it was scratched so when she came back it was all:

"Eh this place is so hard to find! Its far from everything and hidden! Then i reach here, you dont even have what i want... then i take your lousy movie and the dvd is scratched! I thought your place was new! My husband said your things are new but then they are all scratched... blablablablabla..."

You know what offended me the most? Not her snooty outfit or her exxagerated perfume, not her second hand english or undesirable neckline... it was the fact that she was right. I mean, she was absolutely right about the fact that a customer should expect the dvd they take home to work and should have the right to complain if it doesnt. Thats what pissed me off the most: here she was bitching in my store and i couldnt do a thing cos i knew she was right.

I gave her an extra free lollipop. That's not a euphemism. We sometimes give out free candy.

Anyways, a member of this readership (thats a word, right?) finally found my store and i gotta say, she was looking finger-licking when she came in, especially the 2nd time. But see here's the thing: am i allowed to say that to customer? Its been pointed out to me on SEVERAL occasions (Enough already!) that i have a tendency to say inappropriate things. I know this. Mostly i say whatever the fuck i want to say and if you dont like it, you can just fuck off. But i cant be like that in this line of work. its not an admirable or even acceptable character trait when you're in the customer service industry. Now i've really tried to tone it down but i've realised that i almost always hit on the 30 year old ladies who walk into mr.E's. I dont come onto them like the Zohan ("You look very bangable today"!) but honestly, i flirt with them quite a bit. Most times unintentionally. Why 30 year olds? Simply cos they're much safer than 19 year olds. Oh yeah, SheilaH walked in looking like this:

Yeah... apparently, they werent done yet. But she looked quite bangable! I just loved that line... I'm gonna miss my vaccists. Stupid University!

Finally, people always ask what it is i do on my day off and i tell them i go to Didi's World or to the zoo or chill out watching cartoons and this always gets a laugh. The irony here is that i'm actually not kidding. I really do do all those things cos i spend my day-offs... days-off... but its one day... anyway, i spend it with my sister's family. This is always the best part of my week. I mean late night coffe with Eve or closing shop early to eat out with Jane is awesome, but kicking it with my sister's family tops all else. Kinda brings me back to square one after one hell of a shitty week, you know.

Oh and it is my esteemed honour and absolute delight that not one but 2 of my big sisters are expecting children late this year! Cant wait to have another one of these rascals to pass my knowledge onto.


Anonymous said...

Hmmmmm. Jeez you can bitch slap and it dont hurt.

Just Rich said...

Hey Just to be clear here, no5, you are not and i repeat NOT the Bitch Customer in this scene. You're the fingerlicking-ly dressed customer mentioned above.
And i'd never hit a woman but i'd shake the shit out of one!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, well neither did I recall anywhere that I have a husband who gave me directions. Plus whoever you were refering to, they be stupid to not laugh at this post. Its totally funny